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Submitted on
June 9, 2003
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I breathe you in like a cigarette
a soft warm kiss,
a cool caress,
reflects a winter night I can\'t forget.

As I exhale nervously from my chest
my right hand on your shoulder,
you hand in my left,
and i feel your every shallow breath.



I see your solemn soothing silhouette,
standing silently settled, deep inset.
oh how I\'d love to see you next to me...
...again...



Now your scent still lingers on my skin.
your subtle taste,
still fresh on my lips,
and you would think there was nothing I miss...
...and you\'re right...





Now I drink to remember...
...so I never forget...
well if you havent noticed every now and then i write a piece with a discription so vague or broad it's almost indeciferable unless you're meghan...she can read my mind i swear...
and this will not be unlike that...

so i have a new infatuation with cigarettes now...saturday night i decide to get my mind off of things so i got pretty drunk, me being anorexic now i got drunk really fast, and smoked a bunck of cigarettes....it was awsome, whicg brings me to another point, if cigarettes didnt smell so rank i would start smoking...

also i realized that meghan is such a great friend of mine...
she'll eat a homeless person if you dare her...that and i love her to death...this is not about her, but she knows who it is about, and as does mary...

anyway my bitterness has dried up...or moistened...whatever bitterness does...i mean it's pretty dry right?

oh, and my use of aliteration in the chorus (oh yeah this is kinda lyrical...right) it's used alot, if there was a poetry video game and it awarded points for use of poetic devices i would get a pretty good score...sweet...

hmmmmm, anyway, comment on this and if you have the time listen to "drive on to me" by elliott...
it is an amazing song.

comment please!
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:iconlivingbyair:
livingbyair Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
:ohmygod:
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:icondark661:
dark661 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2004
this is great..your use of words is amazing..i love it..lol..
Reply
:iconpopsmear:
Popsmear Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2003
Now your scent still lingers on my skin.
your subtle taste,
still fresh on my lips,
and you would think there was nothing I miss...
...and you\'re right...


Nice man. I can relate to that one a lot. This one was pretty good, minus the drinking, but I guess you figured that part. I don't write lovey poems very well, but I always enjoy a good one. Off to look to more...
Reply
:iconamandamarie:
amandamarie Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2003
wow. hugely long description. great poem. i love it. its amazing.
favorite line: and i feel your every shallow breath.
something about it is quite wonderful. great job.
ciao. amanda.
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:iconchilipalmer:
chilipalmer Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2003
Wow breathtaking, stunning imagery all round I must +fav
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:iconnostalgicstar:
nostalgicstar Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2003
Yes i do like the aliteration, espically in the third stanza, first two lines ...umm, do you listen to yellowcard? This sounds like their song "cigerette", ironically.

This is very well written i like the use of the dots near the end of the peice, gives a feeling of longing and incompleteness. once again, bravo
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:iconnikan2:
nikan2 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2003
Remarkable! :D (Big Grin)
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:iconnarvorya:
narvorya Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2003
Awesome poem. It is quite down to earth and sad yet....something else. Beautiful flow of words and imagery. :) (Smile)
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:iconlizel:
lizel Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2003   Writer
Beautiful... "Now I drink to remember.../...so I never forget..." I've been sober three years now, but I used to have that same feeling when I was drinking, it pulled all of the bittersweet memories out and displayed them in that hazy glow that drinking gives all things... Anyways, thanks for the treat...
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:iconfukcface:
fukcface Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2003
Whoa...

After I read that, there's like this moment that I am just left sitting there breathless... and I stare at the screen blankly... because it manage to numb my mind and take it away...

Brilliant work, Kenneth. Brilliant.
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