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I breathe you in like a cigarette
a soft warm kiss,
a cool caress,
reflects a winter night I can\'t forget.

As I exhale nervously from my chest
my right hand on your shoulder,
you hand in my left,
and i feel your every shallow breath.



I see your solemn soothing silhouette,
standing silently settled, deep inset.
oh how I\'d love to see you next to me...
...again...



Now your scent still lingers on my skin.
your subtle taste,
still fresh on my lips,
and you would think there was nothing I miss...
...and you\'re right...





Now I drink to remember...
...so I never forget...
well if you havent noticed every now and then i write a piece with a discription so vague or broad it's almost indeciferable unless you're meghan...she can read my mind i swear...
and this will not be unlike that...

so i have a new infatuation with cigarettes now...saturday night i decide to get my mind off of things so i got pretty drunk, me being anorexic now i got drunk really fast, and smoked a bunck of cigarettes....it was awsome, whicg brings me to another point, if cigarettes didnt smell so rank i would start smoking...

also i realized that meghan is such a great friend of mine...
she'll eat a homeless person if you dare her...that and i love her to death...this is not about her, but she knows who it is about, and as does mary...

anyway my bitterness has dried up...or moistened...whatever bitterness does...i mean it's pretty dry right?

oh, and my use of aliteration in the chorus (oh yeah this is kinda lyrical...right) it's used alot, if there was a poetry video game and it awarded points for use of poetic devices i would get a pretty good score...sweet...

hmmmmm, anyway, comment on this and if you have the time listen to "drive on to me" by elliott...
it is an amazing song.

comment please!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconlivingbyair:
livingbyair Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2005  Hobbyist Writer
:ohmygod:
Reply
:icondark661:
dark661 Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2004
this is great..your use of words is amazing..i love it..lol..
Reply
:iconpopsmear:
Popsmear Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2003
Now your scent still lingers on my skin.
your subtle taste,
still fresh on my lips,
and you would think there was nothing I miss...
...and you\'re right...


Nice man. I can relate to that one a lot. This one was pretty good, minus the drinking, but I guess you figured that part. I don't write lovey poems very well, but I always enjoy a good one. Off to look to more...
Reply
:iconamandamarie:
amandamarie Featured By Owner Jul 30, 2003
wow. hugely long description. great poem. i love it. its amazing.
favorite line: and i feel your every shallow breath.
something about it is quite wonderful. great job.
ciao. amanda.
Reply
:iconchilipalmer:
chilipalmer Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2003
Wow breathtaking, stunning imagery all round I must +fav
Reply
:iconnostalgicstar:
nostalgicstar Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2003
Yes i do like the aliteration, espically in the third stanza, first two lines ...umm, do you listen to yellowcard? This sounds like their song "cigerette", ironically.

This is very well written i like the use of the dots near the end of the peice, gives a feeling of longing and incompleteness. once again, bravo
Reply
:iconnikan2:
nikan2 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2003
Remarkable! :D (Big Grin)
Reply
:iconnarvorya:
narvorya Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2003
Awesome poem. It is quite down to earth and sad yet....something else. Beautiful flow of words and imagery. :) (Smile)
Reply
:iconlizel:
lizel Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2003   Writer
Beautiful... "Now I drink to remember.../...so I never forget..." I've been sober three years now, but I used to have that same feeling when I was drinking, it pulled all of the bittersweet memories out and displayed them in that hazy glow that drinking gives all things... Anyways, thanks for the treat...
Reply
:iconfukcface:
fukcface Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2003
Whoa...

After I read that, there's like this moment that I am just left sitting there breathless... and I stare at the screen blankly... because it manage to numb my mind and take it away...

Brilliant work, Kenneth. Brilliant.
Reply
:icontheindiepunk:
theindiepunk Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2003
dont smoke man, awesome work though. dont be anorexic either....hahaha, listen to me, telling people what to do...like anyone would ever listen

Evan
---------------------_________________---------------------_____________ _____----------------fun with lines...
-----------------------_________________----------------------------____ ________________-----punk aint no religious cult, punk means thinkin for yourself.
Reply
:iconprufock:
prufock Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2003   Writer
the first three stanzas are nice. of course, i hate ellipses and you used lots. some of the images are good, but some could be more concrete, like "subtle" taste. doesn't really say much. maybe "subtle, salty taste" or something. just to nail those down.

eat something. and take that cigarette out of your mouth, you look like a girl.
Reply
:iconmasked:
masked Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2003
Great work. I really liked the poem, it flowed together really well. Keep up the good work.
Reply
:iconbossdj:
bossdj Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2003
Crazy mad wicked...this is one awesome piece of lit, dawg. If I was still in a band I would ask if this could be used or transformed into a song, 'cuz like you said, it's very lyrical. Anyhoo, gotsta give you mad props for the great rhythm and using alliteration so well (sometimes it can seem strained, but I didn't even notice the alliteration the first time I read it.) Very inspiring.
Reply
:iconbathroom-hero:
bathroom-hero Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2003
gah, too many comments already. Don't start smoking kid.. it's bad for you. BAD BAD BAD... yeah and who wants to smell like shit all the time, raise your hand please. *nobody raises hand* yeah.. 's'what i thought... I found out last night that one of the girls that i used to hang out with when i was little died. apparently her and her friends thought they'd get "really fucked up" on a date rape drug.. and she O.D.'ed on it and alcohol I guess. My first thought was "Shit.. i used to play barbies with that girl". But anyway, it didnt' really hit me that bad because over the years she became a big prep and probably didn't even recognize me. It's just like .. whoaaaa thats crazy sheeyot. But i bet her family is falling apart about it. I know that I would if my sister or something died. Welll.. maybe not my little sister :D (Big Grin) We could all do without her sometimes.. most of the time. Whee heee.. well yeah, that's all I have to say. Kind of off subject... but aren't all my comments? :p (Lick)
Your piece is beautiful and deep... hah .. there we go.
Reply
:iconchrzrus:
chrzrus Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2003
I don't know what to say other than I love this. I wrote something very similar to it once so I guess it puts me back in that place. Great job!
Reply
:iconsexievampiregirl:
sexievampiregirl Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2003
I really like this... Nice work =) (Smile)
Reply
:iconlyds:
lyds Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2003   Interface Designer
beautiful
added to my favorites as well

Clap
Reply
:iconhaliwa87:
haliwa87 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2003  Hobbyist Artist
wonderful poem Aww
Reply
:iconpenny-lane:
penny-lane Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2003   Writer
fuck you...you made me cry...
ok first of all...enough with the smoking...it's bad :P (Lick) ...second...EAT!....third...I DON"T EAT HOMELESS PEOPLE!
i can't even say anything to tell you how much i love this...it's amazing...but you know that
anything that makes me cry gets a +fav
Reply
:iconbrowneyedgirl:
browneyedgirl Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2003
holy crap!! this is soooo great! i love how each line really leads into the next but not predictable "my right hand on your shoulder, you hand in my left" and the ending is really awesome. the first stanza make you feel like your right there, out in the winter air. CLAP CLAP CLAP KENNETH! +fav
Reply
:iconshefb0yrd:
shefb0yrd Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2003
The ending reminds me much of my own. I really like that, very personalized, yet allowing leeway for relation between other's perspectives and not confined to a single-track of memories. You have really developed in the last few poems. Thumbs Up Thumbs Up
Cheers. :) (Smile)
Reply
:iconjaatel:
jaatel Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2003
:) (Smile) You're a very very clever poet. Good imagery, and I like the style that your rhythm is in.

+fav
Reply
:icondrd69:
drd69 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2003
Awesome to see peotry as a fav here.



And a F@#kING awesome piece.
Very evocative and textured.
Likes a lot, got my vote.
Reply
:iconfukenrights:
fukenrights Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2003   Writer
i can relate... my boyfriend thinks i drink away my problems... but the truth is... im trying to remember... put myself back into the state i was when everything changed... try to understand... that is all... not to forget... to remember
Reply
:iconyr538:
yr538 Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2003  Professional General Artist
wow this is so amazing im in love with your writting... its so beautiful and i feel like im in a story with the poem....o wiat i am... nvrmind but i love this its wonderful keep up the good work.... -colette/yr538
p.s. anorexic eh... its not fun is it except when it makes you feel good iknow... itll pass just make sure you have sustanence so that ppl dont suspect and submit you to a place.. its not fun trust me...
Reply
:iconsensarealiefe:
sensarealiefe Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2003   Writer
i like the ending. good imagery. very nice :) (Smile)
Reply
:iconbravesville:
bravesville Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2003
Very beautiful. Perfectly writen. I love how you paused every now and then, allowing the reading to drink in your emotions and feelings. Very heartly felt. Nice work.

-- peace easy
Reply
:iconsavingmysanity:
savingmysanity Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2003  Professional Photographer
Awesome, This is excellent as always you have impressed me. I really think the double meaning within this is very cool. very very cool. I think It's another +fav. I guess I can realate to ur work alot and it being so close to me and the way I have felt/ feel it really gets me . all of your work gets me ;) (Wink)
Reply
:iconwernstrum:
wernstrum Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2003
a note to alkaline (and my good friend bill would agree)- cigars r 4 pussies 2. (sorry i just had 2)

on to the poem, nice piece, i especially like the way the spacing gives an image of smoke puffs and makes the last stanza seem not overdramatised which I think is very good.
Reply
:iconcrazy-jane:
crazy-jane Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2003
Excellent work...especially the last two lines.

This style allows the poem to be so personal and yet allows the reader to own it, I think...your word really make this into something that the rest of us can relate to.

Honestly, beautiful work.
Reply
:iconinebriate:
inebriate Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2003
Now I drink to remember... /...so I never forget...
I'm trying to think of things to say that aren't four-lettered curses. This is very well composed.
Worth a fav. +fav Continue this style, it's definitely working.
Reply
:iconsweetsangria:
sweetsangria Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2003
Beautiful, beautiful poem! I love the imagery that you have created with the ciggarette and especially the double meaning it has. Very raw and bitter...just as you promised:) (Smile)

Now I drink to remember...
...So I never forget...
PERFECT!!

Kitty-chan
Reply
:iconrockandrollheart:
rockandrollheart Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2003
this is incredibly beautiful....you get my undying praise for this one kenneth....just beautiful...i'm in awe...
i know how it feels..
and i like the ending a lot
just such a beautiful choice of words....
i'm just amazed...still in shock from how lovely this is :) (Smile)
+fav
Reply
:iconswissarmyromance:
swissarmyromance Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2003   Writer
THIS IS AWESOME
oohh i know who its about i'm special
i love this
so incredible your work is just getting better by the day.
Reply
:iconalkaline:
alkaline Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2003  Student
Brilliant work man.
Genius.
But cigarettes are for pussies...Cigars are the way to go.
Big fatty Cubans.
Great work though.
Reply
:iconyourotherleft:
yourotherleft Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2003
may i be the first to say: awww. i know how that feels, and i never want to forget, even though it hurts like fuck to remember. you know? and i think the alliteration works really well, especially on "s."

ps. "every shallow breath" eh? [link]
Reply
:iconstealthestars:
stealthestars Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2003
I see your solemn soothing silhouette,
standing silently settled, deep inset.
oh how I'd love to see you next to me...
...again...


--that's my favorite part out of this all. this is a truly beautiful piece kenneth. i now know why you thought it was very good, because IT IS! [all your stuff is brilliant] you mentioned about a winter night, so i have no idea if you're taking us back to something in the past or not? damn you..now i don't know what it is about.

which is okay with me, i'll just make you tell me later, lol ;) (Wink)

once again...amazing job kenneth.

i give you many gold stars for this!

plus,

a +fav

:D (Big Grin)
Reply
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June 9, 2003
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